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Jesus does not influence the outcome of NFL games

After watching yet another miraculous Tim Tebow led comeback, I began to reconsider my stance that Jesus was not interested in the outcome of NFL games.

There are two particular aspects about the Tebow phenomenon that I particularly enjoy.

One is the obvious religious aspect. Although it isn’t the only factor, by far one of the largest aspects that drives the Tebow-haters, and drives them nuts, is the fact that Tebow is openly Christian, and unapologetic about it. These same people generally wouldn’t mind thuggish behavior in their athletes, or manslaughter convictions, or what have you, but an occasional mention of Jesus and it makes them go batshit. I love it.

<digression>“He’s shoving it in our faces!” You mean like the way Muslim athletes ‘shove their religion’ in our faces when they change their names after converting? If you object to Tebow, you’d better object to Ali. And why should anyone care about people who are offended by displays of religious belief anyway?</digression>

<another digression>I was at the Bengals-Steelers game last week and was reminded while watching that Troy Polamalu crosses himself after every play. Given his tendency to suffer from concussive-like symptoms, I wonder if the training staff focuses on that? “Troy’s stopped crossing himself again, yank him!”</another digression>

<yet another digression>I forget the comic who I first heard this from, but as the antithesis of Tebow’s thanking Jesus, Marion Barber should have told reporters after the game “It’s not my fault. Jesus made me fumble.”</yet another digression>

But the other aspect that I love is that his success is a giant “fuck you” to everyone at ESPN (and everywhere else) who decided that there was no way he could succeed, and often suggested he shouldn’t even be in the league, except maybe as a converted tight-end. For instance, the fact that Trent Dilfer is the worst Super Bowl winning QB this side of Jeff Hostetler doesn’t actually necessarily make him all that knowledgeable about everything to do with the game, and that goes with the rest of the “ditto-heads” at that monopoly suck-fest of a network.

<digression>Using another sport, how many of them predicted that the NBA lockout would not end this season or at best in January, after the union decertified? I think it was everyone.</digression>

I still think he won’t have a long-term career, because at some point on one of his ridiculous scampers from the pocket, he’s going to get drilled in the knees or something. Enjoy it while it lasts.

However, it is clear that Jesus did not influence the outcome of the game, because the Broncos didn’t cover. If Jesus was involved, they would have covered.

posted on Sunday, December 11, 2011 7:45 PM Print
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# re: Jesus does not influence the outcome of NFL games
Richard
12/12/2011 7:56 PM

Wow, as an unapologetic Christian, who doesn't usually come across blogs unapologetic-ally using the F-word, I've still got to say, I like the way you think.
I'm surprised I didn't see more of the "Jesus made me fumble" references since yesterday's game.

The comedian was Jeff Stilson, by the way.
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# re: Jesus does not influence the outcome of NFL games
jdn
12/12/2011 8:02 PM
@Richard

Thanks! I've been able to picture the guy but couldn't remember the name. He also had the lines about how it was a good thing men couldn't get pregnant, because it would screw up the NFL season.

"What? Montana's pregnant *again*?"

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